


Queer Eye for a Blaine Guy

by kookaburrito



Category: Glee, Queer Eye - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Getting Back Together, Inspiration, M/M, Makeover, Self-Love, Wholesomeness, appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 15:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14047350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookaburrito/pseuds/kookaburrito
Summary: Blaine is a mess after his break up with Kurt. He is totally at a loss of who he is, now that he is not a part of a couple. He does not know how he’s supposed to dress, what he’s supposed to eat, how he’s supposed to decide anything by himself. Sam cannot stand the look of his best friend losing all motivation to live, and signs Blaine up for a Queer Eye makeover.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an idea that came to me after binge watching all episodes of the new Queer Eye and crying at each one. I really recommend this show, and I thought that with Blaine's issues of being overwhelming and clingy to Kurt not getting resolved at all in canon, this could have been something that alternatively happened. Also, if you find any fic that has the Queer Eye guys making over Blaine or Kurt, please send them my way, I would really love to read everything on the topic (that is why I attempted to write it). :) hope you enjoy!

“Okay boys! Today we’re gonna visit a total cutie from New York, oh my!” Jonathan reads off his phone. “He’s gay, just like us, 25 years old, just like me,” he gives a small cheeky smile to the camera. “Also he lives in a small studio apartment his parents got him.”

“Wow, so young,” Tan says, “He’s probably the youngest we’ve made over, right guys?”

“Looks sweet though,” Antoni says, looking at a provided photo of Blaine, specifically the headshot from his Dalton days.

“His best friend Sam signed him up, he said that Blaine has lost all interest in life after his messy break up with his high school sweetheart. Ohhh, that’s too bad,” Karamo says, “We have a video of Sam here.”

He shows everyone a short clip of Sam Evans, who waves at the camera.

“Blaine was like the most cheerful guy I knew, he was always smiling, and making everyone laugh. He was the guy who talked to bus drivers and helped grandmas cross the street, and was always singing! But now… He is just a mess. Sorry, Blaine, but it’s true. And I miss the old you.”

“That’s so sad and sweet at the same time,” Bobby reacts to the video.

“Did you guys have a high school sweetheart?” Jonathan chimes in, to alleviate the mood.

“Oh, I did, I’ll never forget those locker room times,” Antoni says with a sneaky laugh, “What about you?”

“If you don’t count Hugh Jackman… Brad Pitt… Those were all my locker guys, if you know what I mean. I put them on my locker,” Jonathan says, and everyone laughs.

“Okay, okay. So, the special event is the opening of this cool art exhibition of aspiring young artists, and he has contributed some art! He wants to look good for the party,” Karamo announces for everyone to hear.

“So he’s an artist?” Tan asks, intrigued.

“He’s done some sketches, drawings, but he’s not sure what he is right now. And he wants us to help him figure it all out!” Karamo says, and everyone cheers.

“All right guys, we can do this!” Bobby smiles.

“Blainers, hon, here we come!” Jonathan makes a silly face right at the camera.

* * *

Blaine is at home, because he’s expecting company. He wanted to tidy up the mess a bit, but then he decided not to bother. Apparently, the Fab5 are going to completely change his home, renew his wardrobe, give him a full makeover. It almost seemed an impossible task to do, and Blaine was skeptical. If it wasn’t that he promised Sam to do this, he would have totally backed away. He looked at his apartment, at the chair with all the clothes stacked up on it, glanced over the dirty kitchen sink and the microwave full of stains. Sure, it would have been great to make an effort, clean it up a bit, but at the moment, he had no motivation to do anything at all.

The truth was, he had no motivation for years. Three long years of hell, since Kurt broke up with him.

Lately it has been even worse for Blaine, because he started to realize, after all the anger and sadness has dissipated, that Kurt has been right all along. Kurt’s words, which he yelled at him during their fights, and Kurt’s pained expressions, when he tried to reason with Blaine, and Kurt’s desperate pleas for help did not register with him until now. And they all came from a place of caring: Kurt couldn’t stand that Blaine was invading his space, and being so incapable of doing even the smallest things on his own. Those three miserable years proved him right. Blaine could not function without his better half at all. He was dependent on Kurt, and not in a healthy way.

Indeed, Kurt did everything for him, and it wasn’t because he was controlling or abusing him, or he needed to take care of Blaine. He just did it, because Blaine asked him to, almost begged him to. Blaine loved being showered with attention, loved being taken care of. Carefree, without worries, Blaine enjoyed giving himself up to someone fully, sacrificing himself for love. Moreover, he was secretly grateful to be free of decisions. He was also blindly in love with the most perfect man in all of the world, who knew everything about fashion, food, design, and seemed so mature and wise… And Blaine did not care for anything at all, not until he was under the protective wing of said man, who was supposed to take care of him. Well, that dream-like reality shattered quickly.

Blaine’s sad mullings get interrupted, when he hears some shouting at the door, and his doorbell starts ringing. When Blaine welcomes in the Fab5 and the camera crew, life comes bursting inside of his grey apartment. He’s suddenly the center of attention of a whole crowd of amazingly beautiful people. It feels like being swept by a big gay wave, intense and overwhelming, but not at all bad.

“Hi, Blaine,” a beautiful suave black guy envelops him in a hug, “I’m Karamo, the culture guy.”

“And I’m queen Jonathan,” a long-haired flamboyant Jesus-looking guy gives him two kisses on both cheeks.

Blaine feels like laughing. He did not know what to expect, but these guys are sunshine personified. They all greet him so warmly!

“I’m Bobby, hi! I’m responsible for completely changing this apartment, which I will do gladly,” a blond short-haired guy gives him a pat on the back, and ventures inside, quickly taking in the surroundings with an expert look.

“I’m Tan and I’m dying to look at your wardrobe,” a Pakistani gray-haired man shakes his hand with a warm smile.

“I’m Antoni and I’m here to smell your fridge,” a charming guy hugs Blaine close, and then makes his way to the kitchenette.

“Uh, babe,” Tan laughs disapprovingly, “Stop smelling everything! You always do that!” 

The guys scatter around the apartment, looking at Blaine’s possessions, at his cave, at the life that he has lived for the last three years. They touch his stuff, poke their noses in every corner, take in everything that they need to work with and fix. He tries to follow them around, awkwardly, desperately trying not to apologize for all the mess. It seems like only now he realizes how much his life has sucked, how much it has crumbled apart without Kurt.

“What is this cave? Blaine, you can’t live like this!” Karamo opens the blinds, and sunlight immediately shines inside. Blinking quickly, Blaine looks at everything with sheer surprise. He never realized that it was so dark in here.

Tan is throwing his clothes down from the chair and out of the closet, where they’re all piled up messily: “You have everything that a gay man can dream of Blaine! But why is it so poorly organized? It feels like you haven’t worn all of this in years. These clothes are all bundled up, they feel neglected, they cannot even breathe in there. I love the bowties, but you really should not keep them all together with underwear and scarves!”

Blaine rubs the nape of his neck, unsurely. It is true, he has been wearing the same three outfits over and over, he even forgot about most of these gorgeous shirts and jeans, those trousers and bowties that were all piled up in the closet. He hasn’t had the urge to dress up for years. What was the point?

“Your apartment is big for New York, Blaine, but the space is so stuffy, it’s badly organized, you know? Also it just feels like you’re not even here,” Bobby points at the empty shelves, and the boxes in the corner, “The walls are bare, there are no decorations, no spirit in here. It’s like a general apartment of someone who just moved in.”

And sure, this is not his home. He has never considered this his home, because his apartment with Kurt, the loft, was truly their home. He hasn’t gathered the courage to let go of the silly idea that this was all temporary. 

Thinking back to the loft and Kurt, he’s starting to get even more sad, and the guys can sense that in a second.

“The only place that feels like it’s yours, is that desk. Let me see…” Bobby comes closer to the desk beside the big bed.

There are some designs over there, which Blaine did for the exhibition. Blaine has worked hard on these illustrations and the sheer amount of work has kept him sane for the last couple of months. Surely, these are all male bodies in movement, painted in various shades of color, from dark grey to violet to blue, and he has done them solely thinking about Kurt, but he feels like they turned out very well.

“These are my designs, for Tina,” he explains bashfully, “She’s my friend who has an art gallery, where I will have my small exhibition.”

“These are gorge, honey,” Jonathan looks at them, “You’re so talented! Why do you keep this all hidden? You gotta shine baby!”

“Oh my god, oh my god!” Antoni moves away just in time, before empty pizza boxes start falling from the cupboard on him, “Why do you keep all these pizza boxes? Ugh, and they smell!”

“I just…” Blaine blushes, not sure of what to say. How do you explain that on some days you really do not want to take out the trash, and then it piles up, and then it’s even harder to take it all out…? It seems silly, because it is just a simple act of taking out the trash, but it feels so insurmountable when you’re depressed.

“Blaine, I hope you know that is completely disgusting,” Tan says, helping Antoni pick up the boxes of pizza and piling them up near the door.

Blaine starts to get even sadder. Worry crawls on to his face. Sure, he has felt like his life was a mess, but seeing it right now in every facet biting back at him, it feels like he’s in a black hole, that is sucking him in even deeper, and he will never be able to crawl out of it. Suddenly, Jonathan envelops him in a big bear hug.

“Don’t worry, sweetness! It’s gonna be Fab six by the time we’re done with you, Blainers, I promise!” 

“We’re here to help you,” Karamo enthusiastically joins in the hug, and soon they are all hugging him and telling him words of encouragement, and he feels like he is being protected by a supportive gay cloud of happiness.

* * *

Then they proceed to talk to Blaine one by one.

Jonathan links arms with him, and walks him gently to the bathroom.

They take in all the lotions, moisturizers and shaving creams that Blaine apparently has piled up in a box in his bathroom. They were all from his Kurt era. He does not even know how to use them, because he always asked Kurt to tell him what was the lotion of the day, or even make him take care of Blaine by rubbing it all in his skin. Well… Now they’re all expired.

“These are all really good products, but I feel like you don’t really need them, and haven’t even used them, am I right? Maybe we’ll get you something for these frown-wrinkles you have here on your forehead, they are from worrying too much. Your hands are soft and nice. Maybe we will get you a manicure, you know, guys also love manicures.”

“Yeah, we used to go for a manicure with Kurt sometimes…”

“Who is Kurt?”

“My ex,” Blaine sighs.

“Did he force you to apply all this stuff to your face?”

“No, not at all,” Blaine swallows a lump, “I was just… More interested in spending time with him, then to pay attention to what we were actually doing. Whenever we went for manicures, I would focus on the talking… I wouldn’t have gone to a manicure by myself. But he went alone sometimes… When he needed… to get away from me…To breathe, I guess.”

“Yeah, well. We’re gonna find out what you need, okay? It’s going to be great, honey, you will discover your body and how you like it most. Gimme a smile, sweetness?”

Blaine smiles despite himself, looking in the mirror, and at Jonathan on his right.

“See! You’re like sunshine when you smile. Now. Tell me about your morning routine. What do you do to feel nice after a shower?”

“I just… Gel my hair. And that’s it.”

He points at the three bottles of identical hair gel on his sink.

“Look, Blaine, gel is nice. I’m not saying that gel is not nice. But have you seen how much of it you use? Jesus Christ and all the saints and me,” right at that moment Jonathan opens the cupboard just over the sink, and discovers that it was all just hoards of gel, bottles of the same type. 

It was just something that Blaine figured out for himself, hair gel to keep his mane in place. This was simple, and he decided he could handle the routine of gelling his hair. It is the bare minimum he did not to crumble apart. It was what he has been doing since school, since the times when he had just met Kurt. Turns out, he could not even handle that anymore.

“We will find you a look, that does not involve a whole tube of gel at once, I promise you,” Jonathan hugs him close, and that hug feels immensely good. It feels like he is on the right way.

* * *

Tan leads him to the pile of clothes that has now taken residence on the bed.

“Blaine, honey, tell me something. Where are _you_ in all of this?”

Blaine just shrugs. He points at the pile that was previously on his chair and says: “Mostly I just wear that. The stuff in the closet… I haven’t touched it in years.”

And indeed, the clothes from the chair are all hoodies, sweatshirts, non-descript pants and jeans. It feels like something neutral that you would wear, when you do not care about making an effort. Blaine could see it now.

Tan picks up a few bright-colored pieces from the closet-pile, a nice shirt with a fun print, some striped white pants that Blaine forgot he owned.

“Your closet is so different from what I have seen on the show before. We mostly do makeovers for straight guys, and you know, usually it’s just plaid plaid plaid, or ugly shorts, but hey, you’ve got lots of stuff that we can work with. Maybe too much! Yeah? It’s overwhelming for you, I can see.”

“Yes. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with all of this,” Blaine blinks rapidly.

Whenever he opened his closet now, it was all a mess of clothes, that he did not know how to wear. It seemed like he had some sort of style, polo shirts, cardigans, overall discreet classic outfits, during his Dalton days, and then, after Kurt came along, it all changed into vibrant colors and bowties and polka dot shirts and crazy suspenders. Blaine loved those things, but he had no idea how to pair them up, how to choose them, what really suited him. Kurt did it all for him.

“Blaine, that’s why I’m here, to help you find out your true style. We will find what’s comfortable and what makes you feel self-confident and nice. Clothes make the man!”

Tan’s hug feels even softer than the one Jonathan gave him, and Blaine feels a little bit more complete.

* * *

The next one to address him is Bobby.

“This home… You know. It does not feel like it’s you, Blaine. It feels like a rented apartment. How long have you lived here?” 

“Three years.”

“Wow. And you still have boxes unpacked over there, with your stuff in them?”

Blaine braces himself. He knows that after he answers, the questions are just going to keep coming.

“Actually, a lot of it has to do with Kurt…”

“You keep mentioning this Kurt guy…”

“My ex,” Blaine’s heart squeezed in his throat.

“Okay, and you do not want to unpack that stuff,” Bobby said, taking a look at one of the boxes, “Because you don’t want to face the memories.”

“Yes,” Blaine manages.

“I feel like you haven’t let go of him. If you were really angry, you would have thrown it all away. Instead, you are keeping all of these boxes. But at the same time, you do not want to face them.”

Blaine mumbles something in agreement. Bobby continues, looking him straight in the eyes.

“Your problem is that your life with Kurt was so tied up to him, that you lost yourself in there. I’m sure there are some things from your school, and your clubs, and some family vacations, and other memories that do not involve Kurt directly, but you choose to ignore it all, just because it has even a tiny bit of something to do with Kurt.”

Blaine nods, because this is all so true, and hearing someone else say it so gently, makes him feel better.

“It is bittersweet, but your life with Kurt mattered. Even if it ended badly, you grew up with him, loved him, became an adult with him. You should treasure this part of yourself. Don’t you agree?”

Blaine stares at Bobby with amazement. He didn’t expect Bobby to say all this, since they were supposed to discuss design, but it’s all true. And somehow it makes sense. His life with Kurt was a gift. Sure, it has ended unpleasantly, but it has shaped him in many ways, and it has given his life meaning and purpose, filled it with memories and dreams.

Sure, Kurt chose most of this stuff, Kurt did everything instead of him, but Blaine feels like in all these years he has blamed Kurt too much, blamed him for everything, when actually he was the one who never got around to learning what were his preferences in the first place.

“I agree,” Blaine says slowly, processing all of this information, “I was always angry at that part of my life, but it was all part of me anyway. I should reconsider it… And do something about the boxes too.”

“Yes. We will have to unpack it all, literally and figuratively too.” Bobby says, and Blaine can’t help but laugh. 

Bobby points at the sofa and the small balcony.

“This apartment has the best qualities for becoming something special, a cozy nest. But the way it looks now, you know, I wouldn’t want to come back to such an apartment after a long day. It’s so stuffy. Considering you live here all the time, you probably do not like it too, and I feel like we need to change that. I want you to completely adore this place by the time we’re finished, so you feel inspired and love the idea of being here all the time.”

“I would love that.”

“We are here to make you fall in love with your life and yourself again, Blaine. Happiness is as simple as that.”

This time Blaine hugs Bobby first, gratefulness filling up his mind. And if there are tears forming in his eyes, Blaine does not care in the least.

* * *

After Blaine took a small break, Antoni calls him over to the kitchenette.

“Okay, no offence, Blaine, but your fridge looks like that of a straight guy.”

Blaine actually laughs at that.

“Do you cook?”

“It’s kinda sad to cook for one. Usually I just eat something ready-made. Or me and Sam order pizza and have a movie night.”

“So you never cook?”

“I used to…Well, actually, it was Kurt who learned to cook nice meals for us. I then, in turn, learned some of his recipes, to prepare for him when he was tired. He was picky usually. I learned to make egg benedict the way he liked it, and calamari rings the way he wanted them and caramelized onion carbonara, and… And everything the way he wanted it, and now that we’re not together anymore… I don’t even know what I like. And I don’t want to… Don’t want to make those recipes anymore. They bring back memories I’d rather suppress.” 

Antoni immediately comes from over the counter and hugs Blaine close, “Come on, Blaine. Everything is going to be okay. We will go grocery shopping and see what you like. There are tons of easy recipes out there, you just gotta be curious to find out what you’re into.”

“I am, I feel like I haven’t eaten anything homemade in a long time.”

“Sure. You just gotta realize that homemade can be easy, healthy and fun,” Antoni smiles, and Blaine believes him, believes with every fiber of his being.

“You know what, do you have a food guilty pleasure? We can learn how to make that.” Antoni’s eyes are shining with mischief, and Blaine remembers something that Kurt has never even liked that much.

He whispers, in the tone of a conspiracy theorist:

“Cronuts.”

“That is quite a challenge. But for you, my friend, we will do it,” Antoni chuckles.

* * *

The last one is Karamo, and Blaine feels like this is going to be the toughest conversation.

Karamo sits with him on the sofa. His posture is open, and Blaine instinctively trusts him. Karamo, for some reason, feels like a brother, or a friend a couple of years older, that will really listen to your problems and can share his wisdom with you.

“Tell me, how long has it been since your break up?”

“Three years, two months, five days,” Blaine says, without batting an eyelash.

“Wow, that really says a lot about your feelings for him,” Karamo says, eyes opening wide in surprise.

“I believed he was my soulmate. My everything… I believed that we were going to spend our lives together,” Blaine says, looking down at his fingers, clasped too tight on his knees.

“Have you dated someone else since then?” Karamo asks gently.

“I’ve… Uh… Tried going on a couple of dates, but… It didn’t work out. No one came even close to Kurt.”

“I see. If you cannot move on from your relationship, tell me, what is keeping you tied to it?”

“I feel like… I still feel like we could be great together. That if Kurt saw me, the new me, he would reconsider. I still… I still love him,” Blaine says, and there is a pain in his chest, a dull aching. He takes a few moments to just breathe, and is grateful that Karamo does not push further.

“Wow, it must have been so hard for you, Blaine… Please tell me, if you are ready to share, what was the problem that made you break up?”

Blaine laughs soundlessly, tears filling in his eyes again. He feels like there is a torrent coming.

“I know it sounds crazy… But the problem is… I loved him too much. I was all over him. We went to the same classes at uni, I wanted to get all of the partnered roles on stage, wanted us to live together, relax together, go to class together, work together. When acting jobs weren’t turning up for him, I gave up on my offers too, even though I had plenty. When he decided to be a designer, I would soon follow with the same aspirations. Moreover, I wanted to be there for him in every way, dress like he liked it, prepare the food that he liked, decorate the home the way he liked it. And after… After everything, I realized that I had no idea what were my real dreams. What do I even like. I was turning into his slave or his shadow or something. And it was all my fault.”

“I can see that there is a lot going on here. You already recognize your faults, but, in relationships, the fault is often of both parties. Do you feel like he was wrong about something too? Was he forcing you to go on all these sacrifices for him?”

“No! Never. I was… that was my twisted idea of what a relationship should be: self-sacrifice in the name of love. It is not his fault at all. Well, uh, at first, I was angry at him, and didn’t understand that I was suffocating him. I thought he was distant from me. And in a way, it was a problem. Maybe, if he was wrong about something, is that he tried to reach out to me, but did it in a way that I couldn’t catch up on. He wanted to talk about our problems only when he has already furious, during fights… The message never registered with me, so when he said that we should break up, it was like a brick in the face for me.”

Karamo puts a supporting hand on Blaine’s back.

“Blaine. You know what’s important in all of this?”

“What?”

“You have done a tremendous job analyzing everything and reaching the best possible conclusions. You recognize your faults, and you see the way of resolving them. You see that you should prioritize yourself, grow, develop into a person you want to be, and then form a relationship as a fully grown individual, who is not afraid of responsibilities. Realizing this is huge, these conclusions are huge for you. These are not even baby steps, these are huge sprints towards your goal. This is the foundation on which you will build your future self, and it’s stronger by the moment. You are on the right way, Blaine. And I’m proud of you.”

It feels as if Blaine’s heart gets un-stuck in his throat, and starts beating again, when he hears the last words. It feels like a great weigh lifted. It has been ages since he talked so sincerely to someone, and got such precious advice and guidance.

“The first person that you should take care of, is you, Blaine. Kurt knew this. He would want you to be happy as an individual, as a beautiful gay man. He would love to know who you are, and I bet that you would like to find out too, before forming a relationship with someone. Yeah?”

“Yes. Thank you so much for saying all this.”

And if Karamo’s fancy shirt gets wet from Blaine’s tears, he does not mention it, giving Blaine the same warm smile, and endless support.


	2. Chapter 2

It has only been a few days, but Blaine feels like a lifetime has passed. So much stuff has been happening, he has learned many new things, and revelations were coming at his way non-stop. 

He has a major break down over a new way to tie shoelaces. 

It is the smallest thing, but when Tan is teaching him this new way, Blaine feels like he’s beneath a great mountain of learning, and he has a lot to scale, but he finally sees that he can reach the top, that he will do it, and the view will be splendid from up there. 

All the guys are very supportive of him, and Blaine feels like they are really invested in making his life better, it is not just a show: he is becoming friends with them.

* * *

Bobby takes him to a nice furniture and decorations shop that vaguely resembles IKEA.

At first Blaine is confused. There is so much stuff in there! There are lamps and carpets, and all kinds of countertops, tables, chairs. He feels like he is inside of a shop in the Sims world, and even though the items are sorted by some criteria, there is so much to choose from, that he has no idea where to begin.

Thankfully, Bobby is a master at what he does.

They start with simple things, choosing the overall design of the apartment, the new parquet, the new tiles for the bathroom, some suitable furniture. Blaine does not have to concentrate too much. He chooses a variety of things that he might like, and Bobby narrows it down for him.

What he especially enjoys is choosing a new sofa, because the old one actually turned out to be infested, since he got it off the street for a cheap price. This time he can take his time and sit on each one, truly imagining what it would be like to sit there every evening when he comes home, or during a cozy rainy weekend. Those instantaneous daydreams brighten his mood.

Bobby shows him a variety of lamps, something that truly lights up an apartment, makes it cozy. They experiment with the different scales of diffusion, Bobby explains how direct lights are never used in coffee shops, as they take away the coziness entirely, but bright lights are important if Blaine’s going to be working at his desk for hours.

Blaine has a blast, and does not notice how a whole day passes.

Bobby casually asks him questions about his life, his preferences, and only later, when Blaine is back at his hotel (that the show booked for him while his apartment was being renewed), he realizes that those were all important questions that Blaine managed to reply to, even though most of them were directly related to Kurt and his painful past.

What Blaine does not know, is that Bobby will take in consideration not only his answers, but also the way Blaine’s eyes lit up at some items they have seen and touched that day. 

Bobby asked him to visualize his ideal bookcase, and how his shoe rack must look, and what would be the perfect place for his house plants. Blaine smiles, thinking that he managed to do it all, with true confidence. It is a small step, but it is a step forwards nonetheless. 

* * *

Karamo takes him for a walk in a nearby park. Blaine didn’t even know about the existence of this park. Not that he went out a lot.

They sit on a bench and enjoy the nice spring day. There are parents with kids, couples on a date, someone with an easel, painting. There is a senior couple, walking hand in hand, that catches Blaine’s attention. Everyone loves seeing old couples together showing affection in public, but Blaine’s heart squeezes painfully in his chest. He is perfectly aware of the reasons behind it.

“Are you afraid that you’re not going to meet anyone else?” Karamo echoes his thoughts, and Blaine sighs.

“I am,” Blaine says, looking away, “Kurt was my soulmate.”

“Blaine,” Karamo says gently, “Some people believe that we have more than one soulmate. There are people in your life that care for you greatly. Your parents. Your friends, Sam and Tina. Your other friends from school. The casual acquaintances you made before. Don’t they all matter?”

“Of course they do,” Blaine’s eyebrows furrow.

“Treat them as such, then. Treasure them. When you treasure the people in your life, your heart expands and you are able to let even more people in. Gratefulness goes a long way.”

Blaine wants to say ‘I do treasure them’, but bites his lip instead. It has been a long time since he truly appreciated those people who have stuck around, believing in him. He never called his parents first. He never properly thanked Tina for organizing the exhibition and inviting him. Never appreciated that Sam directed freelance jobs at him, so he could make his ends meet. 

How many times he has actually called his mother? When was the last time he made a thoughtful present for someone? He never caught up with Wes and David, he wondered what they were doing now, if either of them got married or had kids.

“I feel like your head is reeling with thoughts,” Karamo laughs fondly, looking at Blaine’s worried face.

“Yeah, yeah,” Blaine also laughs, breathlessly. He can be a bit intense sometimes.

Karamo gently lays a hand on Blaine’s arm. Blaine’s eyes catch the same old couple, which were now sitting on the bench across of them, and sharing an ice cream.

“I know what you’re thinking, Blaine. Everyone craves romantic love. And you will have that. How can you not? You will meet your soulmate. Whether your path will lead you to Kurt once again, or if it will be someone else, you deserve love, everyone deserves love, regardless of their past. If you are willing to accept love in your life, in whatever form it comes, and if you are willing to share it, it will come your way.”

Blaine looks at a dog running happily across the park with his owner, and feels a little bit better. It is the small things in life that will lead to big successes.

* * *

The next day Blaine is sitting in a fancy barber shop, and Jonathan is running a hand through his curls.

“You know honey, I love your natural hair! It’s so nice to the touch, oh my god!”

Blaine laughs at that enthusiasm. He hasn’t felt so at ease at a barber shop in a long time.

Then Jonathan gets serious for a moment. Blaine can sense it in his movements.

“I feel like all that gel that you use represents you wanting to put a shield between you and the world. You have really nice natural curls. Why don’t you want the world to see your curls? If you think they’re a bit too much, we will style this whole thing very nicely, you will be gorge. I promise.”

“I guess I feel safe with all the gel. Even though… It might be too much. I used to put less of it before I met Kurt, actually...”

“See? We will try to style it with minimum gel, and you will see how much better it will look, babe. When you use too much of one hair product, your hair gets used to it, and produces twice as much oil to combat it, and it becomes dirty faster. So try to use less of it, okay? Change it up a little bit, experiment with different creams. We have a whole world to discover!”

After the procedure is done, Blaine finally dares to look in the mirror.

What he sees there blows his mind.

It is him, but he is more handsome, more suave, more sophisticated than he has been for a long time. He looks charming. He actually looks like a grown-up man, a confident man.

He must have been staring a little too long, because a woman-hairdresser winks at him across the room, in the mirror. He blushes.

Jonathan puts his hands on Blaine’s shoulder, and catches Blaine’s eyes.

“Hey, I’m single, you’re single, why don’t we go grab a drink sometimes? Because you’re a hottie now, you’re welcome,” Jonathan says with a laugh, and Blaine smiles too.

* * *

The day he spends with Tan is one of the most memorable. It is sunny, and they go on foot to some of the trendiest shops in town.

“You look so gorgeous by the way, I love this new haircut! Yes curls!” Tans says when they come into the first shop.

“Thank you,” Blaine says with a genuine smile.

After that, Tan asks him straightaway: “Tell me, why did you stop dressing up?”

Blaine takes a deep breath. He realizes that it is much easier to talk about Kurt right now, it feels like he’s on the way to accept the everything that happened and move on.

“I just… I felt like now, that I wasn’t with Kurt anymore, there was no point in doing anything. I was just… Lost. Who cares how I looked? I mostly dressed for Kurt. He chose my outfits.”

Tan looks over some polo shirts and some skinny jeans, glancing back and forth at Blaine to see what kind of clothes would suit his body type.

“It is good to dress up for someone else, to make them feel like you care about them. But the most important person that needs you to dress up for them, is you! When you make such an effort, when you look beautiful for the sake of it, when you put some thought into your outfit, it will make you feel different.”

Blaine nods. He knows it is true. He just haven’t had the motivation to dress up.

“Try this on,” Tan says, battling his long eyelashes, and Blaine complies.

He tries different colors of pants, shirts, polos, cardigans, suspenders. Whenever he feels uncomfortable wearing something, Tan shows him an easier transition. Mostly, he just gives Blaine tips on how to look taller, how to show off his abs, how to hide his belly, how to show off his perky ass.

“You have a booty to die for, Blaine. Those skinny jeans, those capri pants – those are all yours baby,” Tan says, after Blaine has tried on a few.

“I love these pants,” Blaine says, after a particularly nice pair of maroon skinny jeans, “I need to get them.”

“Ah, I wanted you to try those on purpose, Blaine,” Tan says, and nods at the pants, “You have the same exact pair in your closet! You just forgot about it.”

“Do I?...”

Yes, now Blaine recalls those skinny jeans. He bought them sometime after the break up, when Tina forced him to get out and help her with the shopping. They reminded him of some pants that he used to have in Dalton. He did not get to wear them often, because of the uniform, but it was nice. Why did he never wear this pair?

“These cream-colored things are nice, they make your eyes pop!” Tan says, “You can even try it with accessories. Hats, suspenders, bowties, socks.”

“This is all very nice,” Blaine says, a little overwhelmed all of a sudden, “But how do I… How do I know what to buy?”

“I’m here to help you Blaine. Style is something that makes you feel confident, so you feel great when you wear it, so you feel cool. When you try on something, and you feel great, it compliments your body type, it’s your color – just take it. It will be a thing that will bring you joy!”

In the end, Blaine has a blast. They try on at least half of the things in all of the shops they visit, and by the end, Blaine can definitely say, what suits him and what not, without Tan having to lead him to those particular shelves and giving him tips.

* * *

“Blaine, I have designed a whole menu for you, I’m so excited for this!” Antoni says, when they go inside a big supermarket. 

“So, since you have no idea what you like, I will teach you four different things, that are perfect starting platforms for the rest of your culinary experiments,” Antoni says, and leads Blaine to the fresh fruit and vegetables.

Blaine does not even know what to expect.

“First of all, I want you to know what is healthy for you, for your body. Pizza and cronuts are all nice comfort foods, but you cannot eat them every day, okay? Let’s look at some healthy easy meals.”

Antoni talks him through making an amazing feta stuffed-avocado salad, and this is something that Blaine has never cooked before.

“This is something extremely easy that you can impress a guy with,” Antoni winks at him, and teaches him how to choose ripe avocados.

Blaine feels like he should be taking notes on the go, because he has never paid so much attention in a supermarket. He used to make fancy stuff for Kurt, but mostly he just followed Kurt’s lead, was a sort of sidekick to him, memorized Kurt’s recipes, without experimenting and deciding anything for himself.

Then Antoni leads him over to another aisle.

“Since you are half-Filipino, I thought, that you should preserve your heritage in your food,” Antoni says with a smile, “So I’m also going to teach you how to make the chicken adobo.”

“Oh, my grandma used to make it!” Blaine exclaims, excitedly.

“Yeah, so you know, that it is basically chicken braised in garlic, vinegar, oil and soy sauce,” Antoni nods enthusiastically, “We will get those ingredients, and this will be your main, after the salad.”

They shop slowly for the things they need, and Blaine gets more into it, with each new product that Antoni puts in their cart.

“Okay, as for the drinks,” Antoni says, proceeding to the aisle with the drinks, “I will teach you to make a nice drink with Baileys, the Baileys Eggnog, since you said you like coffee, and you went for coffee basically everyday since you were in school. This can be done for parties, when you have a friend over, or a guy, or just when you want to spend a nice relaxing evening on your balcony.” 

“Sounds nice,” Blaine says, images of those situations already filling his mind.

“You just need an egg, some milk, a dash of nutmeg and some ice. It is just perfect,” Antoni says, obviously pleased that Blaine was reacting positively.

“Now that we have the salad, the main and the drink… The last thing that we absolutely need to make… Dessert. Bring in the cronuts!” Antoni laughs, and rolls their cart forward.

At that, Blaine smiles so wide, like he hasn’t smiled in years.


	3. Chapter 3

Karamo picks up Blaine at his hotel. Today is the big day. It is also the saddest day, since Blaine has to say goodbye to the guys, at least on the show. He thinks back to the way he entered the hotel at the beginning of the week. Strangely, it is as if another person checked in there, he feels like a new man now.

Karamo leads him to the car, and they talk easily all through the journey home.

“Are you excited?” Karamo asks, when they finally arrive.

“Beyond excited,” Blaine smiles. He cannot wait to see his new home.

It feels like a lifetime before the lift finally arrives on Blaine’s floor.

When Blaine opens the door, he cannot believe what he sees.

The guys are all inside, cheering on him, and the apartment looks absolutely stunning.

It looks so much lighter and bigger, and the sofa is the one that Blaine liked the most. There are flower pots on the balcony and two little armchairs. His desk looks bigger than ever before. There is a big bookcase with all of his favorite comics, with photos from his Dalton days, and photos of Tina, Sam, of his family. There is a special shelf with all of his favorite music albums. There is a nice framed poster of his favorite superhero hanging near the bed. There are candles. This place suits him so much, it looks beyond clean, there is a soft looking rug, and the bedroom is spacious. 

Bobby tells him all of the changes he made to transform this bachelor cave into the loveliest, softest apartment, how he thought of a place for everything, how he chose the kitchen counters, and redesigned the lights to make it all brighter, more vibrant. The cream-colored furniture goes well with the dark brown elements here in there, the lack of clutter is so amazing. Blaine wants to touch every inch of this place, wants to commit it to memory.

Jonathan pulls him in the bathroom to show Blaine his creams, and his new fancy gel that he does not have to use that much, and his hand creams and the cream for the frowns on his forehead and the dark circles under the eyes. It is not a lot of stuff, it is organized neatly on the shelf on his sink, so Blaine sees them at all times and knows how to use them. There is also some complimentary cologne that Jonathan gives him with a wink, and a phrase that makes Blaine blush: “To lure the guys in”.

Blaine almost runs to the closet, when he sees all of his clothes hanging there neatly, all of his shoes and accessories organized and on display. He’s so grateful he wants to cry. Tan shows him every detail of his new wardrobe, talking him through the things that suit him most once again. He tries a couple of outifts on, and the guys all whistle when they see him in new attire, striking poses as if he was on a catwalk.

“Jesus, Blaine, if I weren’t already married,” Bobby laughs, and the guys all make a show of fanning themselves.

Blaine feels so good, as if he learned how to fly. He feels his face hurting from how much he’s smiling.

Antoni leads him to the kitchen, and shows that the fridge has been refilled with everything he needs to make the recipes they learned, and much more. They have already made the adobo and the cronut beforehand, so Antoni just quickly teaches him how to make the stuffed avocado on camera, and then proceeds to explain the drinks. Blaine makes it all by himself, and serves the drinks and the salad to the Fab five. 

They all sit on the big cozy sofa, and chat endlessly, like a group of old friends.

“Blaine, come here,” Karamo gestures him to scoot closer on the sofa, next to all of them, “It is my turn. I made you a gift.”

Blaine gets sandwiched between the guys.

Karamo hands him a rectangular piece, wrapped up nicely in discreet wrapping paper.

Blaine’s hands itch to open it quickly, like the birthday presents he used to open when he was a kid, but instead he takes his time.

What comes before his eyes is a simple, wooden cork board, which matches the design of the flat quite nicely. There is a small envelope too.

“What is this?” Blaine laughs.

“It’s a rectangular thingie!” Jonathan exclaims and all the others join in the laughter.

“You can all laugh as you want, but this is one of the most important things that Blaine could receive on the show. Yeah, same as your renewed apartment, Bobby,” he smiles, “But no, I’m honest. This, Blaine, is a vision board. You will put it right there in the blank space near your desk, so you can always see it.”

Blaine takes this moment to pick up the envelope and Karamo nods.

“And these are some of my choices of what you could put there. But of course, you can put whatever your heart desires.”

Blaine opens the envelope – and inside there are magazine cut outs, a great house, people laughing together at a dinner table, cash, a successful job interview, a wedding of a handsome gay couple, and all kinds of things that one could wish for.

“You should put everything there by yourself, and visualize the life you want to live. You are so young! There is so much ahead of you, and you can make it all! And this is a great exercise that can help you decide what you really want in your life. Just believe in yourself. And everything will come true. ”

“Guys, I just…” Blaine is overcome with emotion. He takes a second to look at his new flat, at his wardrobe, at all the new life that the Fab five have given him.

“Thank you so much. I’m so grateful for all of you. You truly showed me that I… Could be great. On my own. That I should try, that I should strive for the best, because I deserve it. You taught me how to love myself, and cherish myself. I wish you all the same happiness I feel right now. Thank you.” 

He hugs them tight one by one, and then it is their time to leave.

* * *

**One Month Later.**

Blaine’s staring at the wall, spacing out. It has been one hell of a week. He has gotten a job at a comic books publishing house, where he will draw concepts for new superheroes. He has never realized that this was everything he wanted. He will draw women, gay superheroes, POC, disabled superheroes, and make all kinds of people that should be represented into interesting, amazing characters to be loved by children all over the country. It is all he ever dreamed of, being a kid. Indeed, it was his dream, his inner craving – to protect the poor, to be of service, to be someone people can count on. And now he can express it in his job.

It all came possible because of that exhibition. People loved his work, and they loved how he presented himself, how he carried himself during the opening party. A lot of them wanted to have his name card, his contacts, wanted to see more of his work.

He remembers asking Tina and Sam, and their significant others to come to his place afterwards. He made them dinner the way Antoni taught them. He showed them his new flat, and it was an amazing evening, an evening to remember.

After everyone went back home, still smiling and congratulating him on the doorstep, Blaine took the empty vision board that Karamo got him. He tentatively pinned a published comic. A vacation. Some friends laughing.

And then, he took a photo of Kurt, and pinned it there too. It felt like the right thing to do.

Running errands in these weeks was not easy, because suddenly Blaine was overcome with tasks. He was helping David with the birthday party for his little son, he was going for drinks with Wes, he was taking Tina shopping for her wedding dress, he was having a video game play off with Sam, he was sending his mom a thoughtful birthday present, and Cooper came to visit for a few days. It has been absolutely packed, and so unlike all the previous weeks of his life. So now, come Saturday, he’s sitting down on his nice new sofa, and staring at the wall with the vision board.

Suddenly, his phone starts ringing.

It is a call that he craved for a long time, so now seeing his name light up on screen, Blaine cannot believe his luck.

It is Kurt.

“Hey, Blaine?”

“Kurt?”

“Yeah.”

There is a small silence, but somehow it is comfortable.

“I saw your exhibition. I wanted to… Tell you that it is amazing. Truly inspiring work.”

“Thank you,” Blaine said quietly.

“How… How have you been?” Kurt says, simple as that.

Just a few weeks before, Blaine would have lashed out. He would have said something unforgivable, would have probably screamed or started blaming Kurt. But now, he had no bitterness, no anger left in him.

He said.

“Good. I’m good, Kurt.”

They talked for a few hours that night, which seemed to pass in a heartbeat.

Kurt said that he has seen Blaine’s exhibition twice, and that he then saw him in a café with Tina, and he looked amazing. Kurt was too shy to come by and say hi, felt like it wasn’t his place. But he simply had to call Blaine.

He would like to talk, get back to being friends. They always were friends first, right?

Blaine’s heart flutters in his chest. He cannot get too hopeful, but he’s already very happy.

They decide to meet the next day, for an afternoon coffee.

When Kurt arrives at the café, Blaine has to keep his heart in place.

He hasn’t seen Kurt in three long years, but it is as if he only saw him yesterday. Kurt looks gorgeous, as always, and he smiles, sweetly and softly at Blaine.

“I’m so glad that we could meet Blaine,” he says, and Blaine goes in for a hug, because he simply cannot do otherwise.

“I’m so glad too.”

Blaine already got them their coffee, and Kurt bites his lip, seeing that Blaine got him a non-fat mocha. He still remembered, of course.

“How have you been in these years?” Kurt asks, genuinely curious, and Blaine smiles humorlessly. And begins talking. He talks about the long years of nothing, the loss of motivation, the depressive feelings, and Sam and Tina being there for him. He talks about the Fab Five and how they completely changed his life. He talks about his new job. He asks Kurt and listens to him, filling in the gaps, as if they have parted yesterday.

At eight, the coffee shop girl politely asks them to leave, since it is already closing time.

“Do you mind going to my place? I want to show you how they renovated it,” Blaine says, and Kurt nods simply. There is something about him, something that feels like there is no place for awkwardness. There is nostalgia. There are raw feelings. There is fondness.

When they arrive at the flat, Kurt is amazed. He looks as giddy as a schoolgirl.

“Wow, this place looks so fancy! And really cozy. I love it in here,” with almost childlike wonder Kurt proceeds to look at every surface, touch everything that comes into sight, goes over to the balcony, comes in the bathroom and looks at Blaine’s products. He takes a million years looking at Blaine’s clothes and accessories, touching every item, feeling the fabric. He even looks at the inside of the fridge, in a completely inspection-only way, “This is amazing,” he says, completely speechless. 

Blaine fixes them a quick dinner with stuffed avocados and drinks. ‘There will be time to impress him with some other recipes’, he thinks to himself hopefully. He lights up some candles to create an even cozier atmosphere, and feels like he did right, when he sees Kurt’s lovely face illuminated by candles.

They sit together on the sofa, and eat their meal. Kurt looks like he enjoys every bite. He has never eaten a meal faster than Blaine in his life, but this time, he finishes his avocado first.

“Blaine, this is so… I cannot even describe how… I mean…”

Blaine looks at him, really looks at Kurt’ s face, at his hair, at his throat, the ears, all the familiar places that he used to kiss. He would like nothing more than to kiss them again. He looks Kurt in the eyes, and internally nods to himself. Blaine’s heart squeezes in his throat at the question, but he has to ask, right then and there, because he cannot wait any longer, “Have you moved on?”

The question rests heavily between them, as if it is unsuitable for this little nest of an apartment that Blaine had now, for this atmosphere between them.

“No, Blaine, no.” Kurt says, looking at him earnestly, full of emotion. He looked at the candles, that Blaine lit up on the coffee table, “You know that for me... There’s only you.”

“Even when I was suffocating you?”

“Even then I loved you. I just wanted you to be yourself, and not my shadow. I see that you have changed now. When I saw those designs, Blaine… I just. I knew you have changed. I really wanted to know the new you. I wanted to see this guy, and I see that it is the same guy I have fallen in love with.”

Blaine cannot help but hug Kurt at that, hug him tight, as if the world was ending. But in fact, it was all coming together once again, pieces of the puzzle getting back together, sticking closely. It has been so long since he felt at home, in Kurt’s hug. 

Now it truly feels like everything will be alright.

When they stop hugging, after what feels like an eternity, Kurt points over to the vision board.

“You put… me? On your vision board?” he asks, incredulous.

“Yeah,” Blaine blushes, embarrassed, “Who knew that this thing really worked?”

“I’m so glad it did,” Kurt says, and goes in for another hug.


End file.
